


Tear My Heart Away

by Seokju



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 여자친구 | GFriend (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Developing Friendships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Interns & Internships, Male-Female Friendship, Mentioned Homosexual Relationship, Mild Language, Pining, Platonic Romance, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seokju/pseuds/Seokju
Summary: Seokmin just wants to find a good hospital for his internship.After finding one, he meets an ill patient, Yuna whose living seems to have just become a habit.
Relationships: Choi Yuna | Yuju/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. It's Okay Not to be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the notes beloww!!

“Mr. Lee Seokmin” 

  
‘ _That’s my name_ ’. Seokmin thought as his name got called by the woman beside the door. All Seokmin felt was nervousness while waiting in line; he kept on getting worried about his answers. _What if I forget something while speaking?!’ Or stutter every word I answer?!!. Fuck_. He really did nothing while waiting except to hope that everything will be perfect, that he’ll somehow finish the interview without any mistake or slip and get his internship in the hospital which apparently is not leading to that right now because here he is standing, frozen on his feet, he can’t seem to walk.

  
“Mr. Lee Seokmin, please go inside already, there are still many students waiting in line.” Obviously, Seokmin’s not the only student who’s going to apply for the internship, there were still like a hundred students in line and time’s not a fool to stop itself just for Seokmin. 

  
“Hey!” Seokmin looks behind to see his three best friends, Chan, Yewon, and Sinb in line, cheering for him. “You can do it, Seok!”

  
 _Shit_. “Okay, you can this, you can do this, just stay calm, don’t panic.” Seokmin mumbles, trying to calm himself down but his legs are shaking and people are starting to look at him.

  
“MR. LEE WILL YOU TAKE THE INTERVIEW OR NOT?! 

  
“Yes Ma’am, I’m going.” Seokmin enters the room and sees a man in white lab coat with glasses sitting on the chair, which Seokmin assumes as one of the head doctors of the hospital or probably just one of the second-class doctors. He sees the doctor looking at him with an unreadable look and he gets nervous again so he makes a big exhale to calm himself down before he sat down.

  
“Okay, Mr. Lee, am I right?” Seokmin nods to the question, nervousness showing in his eyes. “I’m Dr. Park PhD, I’m the CEO of this hospital and I am the one who is going to interview you. Okay, shall we start? Tell me about yourself Mr. Lee.”

  
 _CEO??!!_ Seokmin was quite shocked when he heard that word. He thought that he was just going to be interviewed by someone in a lower position; he definitely did not think that the CEO will be the one to interview him. He definitely got more nervous and he just felt like he isn’t going to get internship with all the nervous filling up his body. 

  
“G--good morning Sir, my name is Lee Seokmin and I am currently at the third year of my college under the course of Medicine.” Seokmin takes a pause as he feels out of breath. “Uhm, ever since I was a child my parents always wanted me to become a doctor. At first I didn’t like it, but as I entered high school, I soon found out that I actually like to be a doctor after learning so much about the human body. I took this internship because I believe that, uhh.., I believe that this will help me mainly on getting experience as a doctor which will serve as preparation when I, myself become a doctor. I believe that this will also increase my confidence in socializing which will definitely help me in treating patients. Aside from those reasons, I believe that this internship will not only let me learn more about the human body and other sciences but also the values of being a good doctor."

  
“Okay.” Dr. Park looks down on his papers and writes something on it. Meanwhile, Seokmin takes the chance to take a breath and wipe his sweat that was dripping down his neck. He looks back to Dr. Park, still writing, making him curious so he tries to raise his head to get a better sight but he notices the doctor’s face instead. Seokmin starts to worry seeing the doctor’s face which looks a lot worse than the face the doctor had when he entered the room a couple of minutes ago. 

  
Seokmin feels relief when the doctor’s mood seem to lighten, but the doctor tilts his head back looking again at Seokmin and he feels nervous as he realizes that the interview is not yet finished.

  
“Why have you applied for an internship at this hospital?” 

  
Seokmin shakes his head, trying to get back his focus and it took him a few seconds before he could answer the question. “From what I have known and gathered, this hospital is one of the best hospitals in the country because of its high quality services and facilities…” Seokmin blabbered for around three minutes literally just going around his answers because he thinks the longer your answer is, the higher the chances of you passing. 

  
Dr. Park was almost asleep when Seokmin finished answering and from Seokmin’s point of view, it looks like he isn’t going to pass since he wasn’t able to keep this doctor awake. Their seniors from their school who already got the internship at the hospital told them that the interviewers always fell asleep and most of the students who were able to keep them awake were actually the ones that got in. 

  
The doctor sat straight to wake himself up and in a second he was back to being a professional. “Okay. Mr. Lee, that’s all for the interview, the hospital shall tell you if you passed the internship via email after 2 weeks. You may leave now thank you.” 

  
Seokmin doesn’t know what to feel, he’s somehow happy and relieved that the interview was over and he can finally sleep in bed without worrying if he practiced enough for interview. But at the same time, he also feels worried and nervous again, thinking that he won’t be able to pass interview. If that happens, Seokmin’s parents are probably going to scold the life out of him. This is the only hospital he applied for since the other hospitals were way far from his home so he decided just to do his best and make sure that he gets in this one. But he doubts that he’ll be able to get in so he better prepare for another interview again at another hospital.

  
Seokmin stands up from the chair and bows down to the doctor before leaving. Sadness painted on his face as he walked through the exit and then he saw Chan who’s next for the interview, when Chan saw Seokmin, his face immediately fell into a frown. “Was it that bad?” 

  
“Not really, I’m just tired I guess.” Seokmin fakes a smile back to Chan. He wanted to say yes, that it was bad and that the possibility of him getting in is very low, but he didn’t want Chan to get worried of him and feel nervous when he gets interviewed, and he was probably just overreacting anyways. 

  
Seokmin told Sinb and Yewon that he will be waiting outside of the hospital since he wasn’t allowed to stay inside. He went outside and saw some people bustling around the surroundings, the heavy traffic was causing the cars to beep in unison at their places, and Seokmin just didn’t like all the unnecessary sound he’s hearing. He walked towards to an area covered by a tree and as he sat down the loud noises started to soften which made Seokmin feel relaxed finally. He let out a big sigh and closed his eyes for a minute. All Seokmin did the whole morning was worry about his interview and he just feels so tired. He gets his phone from his pocket and checks if there are any unread messages sent to him and as he expected, none. He realized that he’s going to wait for a few hours for Chan and the two to be finished so he decided to open his phone again and play some Kart Rider until he gets bored.

  
The game surely is addicting for Seokmin, call him childish but he really likes everything in the game – the cute cars and the characters whose heads were bigger than the rest of their body, and the pretty colorful race tracks as well. He played for a couple of minutes not even worrying about his interview that went shambles but he probably doesn’t even need to since he thinks that he won’t pass. Everything was going fine until he lost the race, it definitely ruined his mood. He turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket and then he saw Chan walking out of the exit of the hospital. “Chan, right here!” 

  
Chan’s eyes hovers to Seokmin and smiles at the sight of his best friend. Seokmin sees the joy in the latter’s face while they were walking back to the bench to wait for the two girls. “How’d the interview go? You seem too happy.” Seokmin raises his eyebrows as he asks. 

  
Chan grinned at the question and Seokmin doesn’t seem to understand the guy. “Not to brag hyung, but I think I’m going to pass the internship.” Chan was too happy to realize that Seokmin’s face suddenly dropped at the answer, he wished that he had Chan’s confidence. “Really? You kinda sound like a smug person.” Seokmin immediately changes his expression to a smile before Chan notices it. 

  
“I think the interviewer really liked me.” Chan oozed more confidence as he spoke. “I was definitely able to keep him awake, although he kinda looked a little drowsy at first. But once I started speaking he definitely got back to his senses.”

  
“Isn’t that just a part of being a professional? Don’t you think, Chan?” Not to break Chan’s happy bubble, but Seokmin thinks he’s a bit too complacent for someone who just finished their interview. 

  
“What do you mean?” Chan asks, not really getting the question the latter said.

  
“Chan who do you think sleeps when they’re at work?!” Seokmin giggles meanwhile Chan’s look became more confused.

  
“Well, that’s definitely what I saw my dad was doing when I came to visit him at work.” Chan scratches his head and pouts. Seokmin laughs more at Chan’s naivety—the kid’s only a year younger than him but he started school a year earlier than him that’s why Chan and he are classmates. And at times like these, Seokmin just can’t deny that he sees Chan as someone who’s more than a year younger than him and also add the fact that Chan sometimes does aegyo unknowingly. Seokmin finds it cute sometimes, but sometimes it just annoys the heck out of him as well. 

  
“But I’m serious though hyung! The doctor kept on smiling at me after I answered his questions, he even gave me a candy, here look” Chan pulls out a piece of candy from his pocket. Seokmin’s expression suddenly went blank, he can explain the ‘waking-up thing’, but the candy? He feels bad and he envies Chan for impressing the interviewer while Seokmin on the other hand, failed to even keep the doctor awake. Chan sees the sad look on Seokmin’s face and starts to feel sympathy for Seokmin, he’s worried that the older’s interview didn’t go that well unlike his interview. “Hyung, are you okay? What happened to your interview?” Chan asks in concern.

  
“I don’t really want to talk about it. Can you just distract me or something?” Chan’s over-concerned personality wants to know what happened but his hyung won’t let him know so he just brushes that eagerness over. Chan thinks of something to divert his hyung’s attention and he thinks of his newly thought dance. “Hyung! Want me to show you my dance?” 

  
Seokmin nods and after a few seconds of Chan dancing, he smiles feeling thrilled to see the younger one’s moves. He’s always wondered why Chan went to reach his love for science instead of dancing. Chan always loved to dance ever since they were kids. He would dance along to music or dance to his own singing while Seokmin has that shocked and impressed face every time he watches him and laughs when Chan trips over their toys.

  
“You sure you won’t give being an idol a shot?” Chan’s face is wet with sweat when he finishes his dance and he feels like it’s worth the energy seeing his hyung’s face back to its happy and cheerful state. Chan moves his head side to side showing disagreement to his hyung’s statement. “I think I’ll stick to being a doctor, being an idol is hard.” Chan smiles back to Seokmin.

  
“Are you really really sure? I mean it’s not that I don’t want you to be a doctor, you’re just really good at dancing.” The younger face suddenly flushes at the compliment. “Hyung, why don’t you just go be an idol yourself instead of asking me, how about that?” 

  
“Okay, okay, fine, you win, I won’t bring it up anymore.” Seokmin dumbly raises both his hands in the air as if he was surrendering from a fight. They both sat down at the bench, the two of them having a beam of satisfaction in their faces, not minding what just happened a while ago. 

  
It was already dusk when the group was completed, Yewon being the last one to finish the interview. Everybody was already bored when Yewon came, Sinb was scrolling through her phone, Chan was already sleeping on Sinb’s shoulder and Seokmin who has been there the longest is also dozed off, he feels so tired and he just wants to go home, his butt already hurts from sitting. 

  
“Hey guys, I’m back?” Yewon forms an awkward smile on her face, trying to lighten up the mood. 

  
“Oh, hey.” Sinb doesn’t even look up from her phone and just greets Yewon coldly. 

  
“I think we should wake them up now so we can leave, don’t you think?” 

  
“Cover your ears.” Sinb looks up to Yewon and makes an evil-looking smirk. 

  
“What?” Yewon asks, confused with what Sinb just said and the smirk on her face too.

  
“Just cover them if you don’t wanna get your ears ripped out.” Yewon follows and covers her ears with her hands as what she was told. Sinb on the other hand, puts her phone on her pocket and moves Chan’s head from her shoulder to Seokmin’s and screams out bloody murder.

  
“What the fuck!!!” The two guys suddenly jump out in shock. “What the fuck just happened?!!” Seokmin and Chan scream in shock, looking disoriented. Meanwhile Sinb was already laughing her lungs out and Yewon who was trying to process what was happening suddenly started laughing as well. 

  
The two guys stood there frozen, still confused. It took them a while to get what just happened in front of them and when they finally did, their faces suddenly switched from a blank look to a pissed look. “Fuck you, Sinb.” 

  
“Yeah, I know, I love you too.” Sinb and Yewon continue on laughing meanwhile the boys who are pissed started walking away, not even looking back. Luckily, no one was near them, that would’ve been so embarrassing, Seokmin and Chan would probably consider applying to another hospital. Well, as if Seokmin even has a choice. 

  
“Hey, wait up!” Yewon shouts, running towards them, still laughing. “I didn’t have anything to with that though, that was all Sinb.” Yewon’s hands on her knees, panting, from all the running and laughing. Sinb runs a few steps, catching up on the guys and Yewon. 

  
“Okay, I’m sorry I won’t do that again.” Sinb tells them an apology, but it was obviously an insincere one—she still can’t stop laughing from the faces of Seokmin and Chan a while ago and is failing to keep a straight apologetic face. Seokmin and Chan looked at her at with their sulky, pouty faces and Sinb immediately feels bad.

  
“Okay, I’m sorry, for real this time.” 

  
“Can we just go home? I’m kinda tired.” Seokmin proposes. 

  
“Yeah, me too.” Yewon agrees with Seokmin but Sinb and Chan look like they still don’t want to go home yet. “Well, I’m really hungry, do you guys wanna grab a bite first? There are some restaurants a few blocks away from here.” 

  
“I’ll go with you, there’s a newly opened place there, let’s check it out.” Chan tells Sinb whose mood brightens up when she heard that one of her friends will come with her.

  
“Do you guys want to come?” Sinb asks Seokmin and Yewon as she tries to channel her puppy eyes. Seokmin, melts at his friend’s look and instantly wants to come with him even though he’s tired. He looks at Yewon for a moment and it looks like Yewon wants to come too. But he’s too exhausted. “I’m really tired though, I just want to get some rest. Don’t you guys want rest too when your tired?”

  
“No, I eat a lot of food at restaurants with my friends.” Chan answers and Yewon and Sinb laughs.

  
“Yeah, and I also look at myself in the mirror.” 

  
“….”

  
“Is that a joke or something?” Chan asks Sinb, he doesn’t know if he’s going to laugh or not. 

  
“What? Don’t you get energized when you look at my face?” Sinb asks with a serious expression and Chan bursts to laughter.

Meanwhile Yewon and Seokmin are so weirded out.

  
“Are you serious?” Chan questions Sinb while laughing. “Yeah, what’s so funny?” Sinb gives a death glare at Chan and the guy immediately stops laughing, eyes widening and starts running away from Sinb.

  
“HEY! COME BACK HERE, I’LL KILL YOU, YOU BIG ASS OTTER.” Sinb angrily shouts while she runs to punch the heck out of Chan, leaving the two alone.

  
“That was weird.” Yewon cackles, looking at Seokmin. “So, what do you want to do?” Yewon points on two opposite directions, making him choose between catching up with Sinb and Chan at the restaurant hoping Chan’s still alive or go back home and take a rest after that draining interview he had. Seokmin thinks for a few seconds, his mind tells him to go home but when he was about to talk, he heard his tummy growling. Seokmin gets embarrassed and looks down for a second.

  
“So, uhm, this way?” Yewon guesses that Seokmin’s hungry so she points to the direction where Sinb and Chan ran to which is where the restaurants are. “Yeah, maybe let’s eat first.” Seokmin nods and starts to walk slowly with Yewon.

  
It was around 11 PM when Seokmin got home, Chan and Sinb still wanted to get themselves drunk, so Seokmin and Yewon left early since they were already tired. The group’s really divided into two different personalities—Sinb and Chan are the outgoing, talkative, loud, sociable people, meanwhile Seokmin and Yewon are the total opposite, they’re the introverted, shy, reserved people. But it seems like they do have something inside of them that are similar to each other since they were able to become this close of friends, maybe something like wanting to be a doctor?

Seokmin pushes the keys to his apartment and opens it letting Yewon get inside first.“Are you still gonna stay?” He asks Yewon, weariness in his voice. 

  
“No, I think I’m gonna leave now, you should go take a rest.” Yewon gestures him to go to his bed and waves goodbye to Seokmin.

  
“Thanks for coming home with me though, I was the one who’s supposed—"

  
“No, it’s alright.” Yewon laughs at the guy’s concern.” I actually wanted to come with you since I wanted to see this place, I mean it’s been a long time since the group hung out here.” 

  
“Oh, right.” Seokmin sighs. “How long has it been? We should hang out here again, maybe a group study or something.” He suggests as he also misses spending time with his friends in his house. He realized that it has actually been a long time since the four of them hung out in his place—they were all kinda busy with college and life so Seokmin thought that it would be nice to have the three of his friends back again someday. 

  
“Sounds great, but I don’t think Sinb and Chan would like that though.” They both laugh at what Yewon said, it is somehow true, they do study sometimes, but every time they say they came for the group study they’d actually just end up playing with the game console instead.

  
“I should go now.” Yewon reminds Seokmin

  
“Yeah, right, be careful on your way home, call me or text me if you need something.” 

  
Yewon laughs and imitates how Seokmin just said that and the guy immediately pouts looking offended. “Hey, I’m just worried okay, there are a lot of assholes out there.”

  
“Don’t, you sound like my grandpa, the apartment’s just a few blocks away and Sinb and Chan are probably on their way there too.” Seokmin remembered that out of the group, he’s the only one that lives in another place—the three are all together in the same building, Yewon and Sinb live together meanwhile Chan lives alone at his apartment next to Yewon’s and Sinb’s. The thought of it just made him a bit sad.

  
“Still, be careful.” Seokmin insists.

  
“Okay, okay, I will captain.” Yewon rolls her eyes and waves a hand to Seokmin. “Bye!”

  
Seokmin decided to take a warm shower first before going to bed. The warm shower sure did help his body ease down a bit, but his head slightly aches when he turns on the lights, so he doesn’t take a second thought to turn off the lights and wear his clothes in the darkness. He lies down to his bed and closes his eyes and tries to sleep when his phone on the bedside table rings. It was a message from Yewon with a picture of Sinb and Chan knocked off from the alcohol. 

_**Found them outside the apartment Sinb was crying caue she can’t open the door lol** _

Seokmin laughs at the message and texts Yewon back telling her to sleep already it was already 1 in the morning and he knew it would do no good for their bodies. Although it appears like Seokmin should be saying that to himself instead—the sun will rise soon and time seems to be faster this hour when Seokmin looks at the time on his phone and realizes that he’s been lying in bed for almost an hour. It was really frustrating for him now that his drowsiness left him for some reason. The frustration just made him feel more tired, closing his eyes didn’t help so he stared in the ceiling for a while.

  
He can’t help to think about his interview—it was probably one of the most stupid things he has done and thinking how it was the total of opposite of what happened in Chan’s interview just made him feel more sober than he already is. Call him a pessimist, but he’s just being realistic and preparing himself for the worst. A big part of him still hopes though, hoping that he will be able to get in, that maybe the doctor who interviewed him that time was just tired, that Chan’s story about his interview was just an exaggeration and they probably all got almost the same reactions from the interview. 

  
Seokmin takes a look at his phone again and gets surprised, eyes widening when he sees the time—it was already 3 AM. He puts his phone back to the bedside table and covers himself with a pillow. He exhales and tries to close his eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well these days because of that damn interview but his actually pretty lucky today since it was a weekend and he has no classes in the morning. He once got late in class after falling asleep in the bus, he didn’t realize that he already passed by the school and had to ran back. It was his fault anyway—the school was just a 45-min walk from his school and he could’ve chosen to walk but he took the bus instead. 

  
He decided to play Kart Rider on his phone again and after a few minutes of small cute people in small cars, he finally felt the drowsiness coming back again and he immediately threw his phone on the side and closed his eyes to sleep. 

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Seokmin drops of the bus and sees the hospital standing tall in front of him. _This is it_ , Seokmin thought, he passed the internship and is now walking towards entering the hospital. It was his first day as an intern, and he’s probably one of the happiest people right now. He can finally experience being doctor, well not really a doctor, his work is still a bit far off from a doctor but it’s still part of the process of becoming one. 

  
He enters the main hall and sees a few of his fellow interns standing on the corner, he wanted to join the circle but again his shy anxious self is preventing him to do it. He ends up going to one of the empty seats near the counter and waits until their mentor calls them for the orientation. 

  
Just when he settles down in the seat, he sees his mentor suddenly in front of him. Seokmin stands in shock and doesn’t hesitate to greet the doctor in front. “Good morning, Sir…doctor” he was puzzled on what to call his superior but the doctor ignores his greeting and takes a big deep breathe of what seems to be disappointment? Seokmin starts to feel uneasy, the doctor was blankly staring at him and it’s really freaking him out.

“I’m sorry Mr. Lee”

  
‘What?’ “I’m sorry s-sir, I don’t know what you mean.” Seokmin’s legs were shaking from fear, everybody was looking at him like he killed somebody. 

  
“Mr. Lee you didn’t pass the internship.”

  
“W-what? S-sir, is this a prank?” Seokmin awkwardly laughs but stops when he realizes that the doctor was serious. 

  
“Sir, I-I don’t understand” 

  
“You didn’t pass the internship Mr. Lee, just wake up.” 

  
“Sir, I don’t understand.” Seokmin was in the verge of crying, he was sure that he passed the internship, he—  
“Just wake up! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!”

  
“Hyung!!! Wake up!!!”

  
Seokmin wakes up to the loud call of Chan snuggling him in the bed. “Hyung! Wake up already, we told you to sleep early yesterday and you didn’t did you?” Seokmin stares at him for a minute, still half-asleep. He had no idea what was going on until realization hits him that he just had a dream, or should be more probably called a nightmare. His mind was having a hard time to register what he had just dreamt of and why is Chan snuggling at him in the bed early in the morning. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

  
“Wait, what day is it today?” Seokmin removes Chan’s leg resting on top of him and sits up straight in the bed, fixing his messy hair. “It’s Sunday, we’re supposed to get the results for our internship today."

  
“Oh, so we still don’t know if we passed or not, right?” he gives Chan a very confused, curious look.

  
“Yeah, why?” 

  
“I just had bad dream.” Seokmin squeezes his eyes shut and lies back down the bed. What a great way to start the day, now he’s starting to get anxious again. He has been doing well for this past 2 weeks, he finally stopped worrying about that stupid interview after a couple of days, and he was really enjoying how life was treating him the past few days—no late classes, complete 8-hour sleeps, exam scores with only one to two mistakes, except for that one test he forgot to study because of having too much fun with his friends but then today came. 

  
“Hyung, you okay?” Chan notices the sudden gloom in the older’s face. “What did you dream about?”

  
Seokmin was about to open his mouth when Sinb yells on the other side of the apartment. “Hey! Stop with the icky cuddles already, and get your asses here!” They were supposed to go on a road trip today and it looks like they’re going to be a bit late because of Seokmin. 

  
“Sinb’s hugging me, by the wa—“ Yewon shouts across the apartment to expose Sinb but fails to do it when Sinb covers her mouth and shushes her. Chan was laughing in the bedroom however Seokmin seems to be faraway, still thinking about his dream. Chan notices again and concern starts to rise.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chan pats Seokmins shoulder seeking to get the attention of the latter. Seokmin looks at the younger and shakes his head off trying to not think of that dream. “What is it hyung?”

  
“I think I should go take a bath first, I won’t take long.” Seokmin sighs and gets out of the bed and gets his bath towel. “Okay, I guess I’ll just wait in the living room with Sinb and Yewon.” Chan pouts in dissatisfaction since he really wanted his hyung to tell him what’s bothering him but that could probably wait till later not like Sinb. Seokmin ruffles Chan’s hair and smiles when he sees the pout forming in the younger’s face. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing just some weird stupid dream.” 

  
Seokmin finished bathing himself shortly after his talk with Chan and he was having a hard time picking out what clothes he should wear. He can’t decide between the blue-striped shirt and the dark-orange shirt with a small pizza drawn on the side. Choosing between the two shirts took longer than him taking a bath and he realizes it when Chan checks up on him in his room. Instead of him choosing, he thought of letting Chan choose instead. Chan chose the blue-striped shirt but Seokmin started arguing with him that the dark-orange shirt also looked good too. To avoid the stupid conflict, Chan just tells him to wear it both if he can’t pick between the two. But in the end, Seokmin got annoyed and just chose to wear a plain white shirt with a black jacket and ripped jeans. 

  
He finally got out of his room along with Chan and he saw Sinb and Yewon on the couch and Sinb starts to eye at him with an irritated look. “What took you so long?! We were waiting here for like 5 hours!” 

  
The guys start to laugh at her words and Yewon faces Sinb and also starts to laugh as well. “Sinb, it’s literally just been an hour what are you talking about.” 

  
“Shut up, I’m mad, I have overreacting rights.” Sinb rolls her eyes and stands up from the couch. “Are we gonna go or what?” The three other people just laughed at Sinb and then walked outside Seokmin’s apartment.

  
They took the elevator to get down the building and walked the rest of the distance to get outside. “Who’s gonna drive?” Yewon asks—she’s the only one in the group without a driver’s license so she can’t take over the wheel. 

  
“Not me!” 

  
“Not me!”

  
Sinb was first to respond, Seokmin was second meanwhile Chan was too slow to pick up so the group ends up laughing at him. “Wow, okay, nice.” Chan crosses his arms and sulks. 

  
“Chan?” Yewon hands the keys to him and Chan looks at them for a second before taking the keys. Sinb makes a short squeal and gets in the car. Seokmin, standing beside Chan, pats him in the back and thanks him and also gets in the car along with Yewon. Chan, having no other choice enters the car and straps his seatbelt in. “You guys owe me”. Chan gives a look at his friends before plugging in the keys to the car.

  
“Oh, yeah, by the way…” Yewon reminds her friends before she forgets. “… try not to mess with anything in the car, my dad’s gonna kill me if anything gets broken.” Nobody in the group owned a car so Yewon asked her dad if they can use their car and her dad luckily agreed to let them use it. It’s a bit funny how the three of them have a driving license but not even one of them owns a car. 

  
Everybody was hungry after an hour of Chan driving and they all decided to have their first stop at a samgyupsal restaurant. Just by the entrance you can already smell some smoke which made them more excited to grill some meat and eat it. They sat on the corner of the restaurant where there were less people and they reviewed what kind of meat they should get. A couple of minutes of arguing and they finally all agreed on a type of meat. They were all hungry so it was a bit easier for them to persuade each other. 

  
While waiting, they were all on their phones until Yewon spoke up. “What time do you think will the results come out?” 

  
“For the internship?” Chan asks.

  
“Yeah.”

  
“I don’t know, they didn’t drop it this morning so probably later in the evening?” Chan looks back to his phone after talking to Yewon but he notices that Seokmin beside him whose face seemed to drop when they mentioned about the internship. “Hyung, are you okay?” 

  
Seokmin doesn’t hear what Chan says so Yewon calls him instead to get his attention. Seokmin takes a moment to realize that the three were already staring at him. “Oh, nothing, I’m fine.” 

  
“No, you’re not, you have been like that ever since this morning.” Chan starts to get mad at his hyung for not being honest but Yewon was quick to calm him down. “Seokmin, what’s wrong?” Yewon is trying to get Seokmin to tell them what’s bothering him but Seokmin seems to ignore their concern. He bobbed his head down and kept quiet for a minute, luckily his friends were all patient enough to wait for him to talk. 

  
“Here’s what you ordered Ma’am and Sir.” The waiter came in their table with two sliced set of meat and four cans of cola, just right in time when Seokmin was ready to talk to his friends. The waiter placed the food down on their table and started heating up the grill and setting up the exhaust duct where all the smoke goes in. “Is there anything else I could help them with?” The waiter asks after he finished setting up. “No, I think we’re okay for now, thank you.” Sinb responds and the waiter leaves. 

  
The three of them look back to Seokmin whose eyes are back to staring down at his own hands on his lap. Seokmin looks back at them and the atmosphere suddenly got awkward. “Do you guys wanna eat first?” He tries to form a smile which just gets a blank reaction from his friends in return. “Come on Seokmin just tell us, we’re your friends.” 

  
Seokmin takes a deep breath and starts talking. “It’s just that, I had this strange dream that I didn’t get accepted in the internship.” Seokmin takes a look at his friends and sees that they are actually listening so he continued. “It just felt really humiliating—I was in the hospital and the doctor was in front of me and everybody was staring at me and—“He takes a peek again and his friends are still listening to him, no wincing just sitting firmly. “Yeah, that’s it.”

  
“So you were in the hospital, even though you didn’t get the internship?” Sinb clarifies and Seokmin nods his head as an answer. “Why did you even go there in the first place??” Sinb doesn’t get it neither does Chan and Yewon based on the looks on their faces. “I don’t know! For some reason, I just thought that I got accepted that’s why I found I myself walking towards the hospital. “ Sinb doesn’t know what to say so she resorts to looking at Chan and Yewon. “Do you mind helping me here?” 

  
“It’s just a dream Seok, most of those are not even true, you probably just got nervous from getting the results.” Yewon states.

  
“Yeah, and I’ve heard that dreams are actually the opposite of what will happen in reality so you’re probably going to pass the internship.” Chan adds and Seokmin smiles after hearing what Chan said. 

  
Chan suddenly got his can of cola, opened it and held it up in the air. “Cheers?” Everybody laughed before their cans made the clinking sound together. “Cheers!”

  
After 2 hours of chatting, eating and grilling of meat, they left the restaurant happily and went back to hit the road. Since their stomachs were all full, they just skipped all the food stalls and restaurants they passed by and went to an amusement park. 

  
Yewon wanted to get the cute headbands which everybody was against but they also ended up wearing them for their best friend’s sake. Chan wore a dog headband, Seokmin and Yewon had the same bunny design on their headband but each had a different color, and Sinb was forced to wear a cute headband with a big ribbon on top.

  
Sinb pointed to the haunted house and everybody followed even though Seokmin and Yewon were already scared from seeing the exterior of the house and from the screams of the people inside. 

  
Chan and Sinb were laughing from Seokmin and Yewon who were clinging on to each other—they kept screaming at every jump scare and even at the slightest movement of the things inside the house. When they were finally at the exit, Seokmin and Yewon ran away as far as they can from the house and made sure to tell each other to never go back to that haunted house ever again. Meanwhile, Chan and Sinb didn’t even get scared the whole time and they just kept on laughing at the two who were scared. 

  
“We’re gonna go to the rides, wanna come?” Sinb asks the two, while is Chan behind her. The two, Seokmin and Yewon looked at each other first before, nodding and following their friends to the rollercoaster. They had fun in the line, looking at the ride go up and down but the fun didn’t really last long for the two guys, what seemed to be fun for them was actually the opposite. The two girls enjoyed the ride but the two guys seemed to have felt distress more than entertainment. After that ride, Seokmin decided to just stay at one of the benches with Yewon which kinda pissed Sinb off—they were at an amusement park and sitting down at a bench is probably the last thing you could do in there. So the group was separated, Sinb and Chan continued on going on the rides while the ‘no fun’ people according to Sinb bought some cotton candy and stayed at the benches to eat it. 

  
Later that day, the group was back in the car after a few hours of fun in the amusement park. Like earlier, they were on their phones, while Chan was preoccupied on driving, looking for a place for them to eat. They passed by a ramen restaurant and decided to eat there since they were craving for some good ramen.

  
It was around 7 PM when they all went to Seokmin’s apartment—they all agreed on seeing their internship results together so after entering inside the apartment they all waited each other to be ready with their phones to check on their emails for the results. 

  
“I’m so excited!”

  
“Me too!”

  
“You guys ready?"

  
“1..2..3…” On the count three, the four of them opened their emails. “I got in!!!” Chan was the first to look up from his phone. “I got in too!” Yewon seconds Chan. The two who already got in looks at the other two still on their phones, refreshing their emails. After a few minutes, Sinb gave up and Seokmin was still hoping that there was just some interference or maybe the hospital just forgot to send him the email.

  
“Okay, fine, that suck ass hospital wasn’t my dream workplace anyways.” Sinb huffed but she took it back when she found out that her email was just in at the bottom of her emails covered by all her other promotional and social emails. “Wait, never mind I was joking, that hospital was the best. I got in holy shit.” Sinb jumps in joy but notices that the two were focused on Seokmin who still hasn’t received any emails yet.

  
“Did you refresh your emails already?” Yewon asks Seokmin who’s head is still facing his phone. “I already did it a thousand times. Nothing.” “Maybe it’s just in the middle or bottom of your emails.” Sinb proposes but she gets no answer from Seokmin. _Nothing_.

  
Seokmin looks up to his friends and tries to fake a smile. “It’s alright.” _It’s not_. His friends doesn’t say anything and comforts him instead. He kinda expected this anyways, already from the start of the interview he knew he wasn’t going to get that internship. But he still kinda wished for it, I mean there’s nothing wrong with hoping right? The thing is, he probably hoped a little too much and now, he doesn’t really know what to do or what to think. All he can think about is the fact that he didn’t get in and his friends did and the thought of him being left out just hurts.

  
_Not fair at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet yall skipped reading the interview part ;-;
> 
> Anyways, this is my first time writing something this big. First of all, i still dont have any experience on internship nor college so i really had doubts at first if i should go with it, but i decided that ill give it a try so im gonna be basing the happenings on what im have experienced in high school. Secondd If you're reading this, I would really appreciate comments, kudos or any tips you can give me i guess?? Since im just a new to this. English isn't my mother tongue so sorry if i make any mistakes  
> I'll also be leaving a cc on my twt if yall are too shy hehe @mainvocaldkyuju


	2. Somebody to Talk to

_It’s ok Seokmin, its ok._

Seokmin keeps on telling himself, even though it’s not. Its 6 AM in the morning, a couple of hours passed after they got their internship results, and also after his friends left him in his apartment. They offered to stay but Seokmin wanted some alone time. Now here he is, lying down his bed, he doesn’t know if he’s going to get ready for classes or just stay down lying. His mind is clouded with so many worries like how is he going to tell his parents about the results, how he has to prepare for another interview which is probably going to be harder than the first one since his friends aren’t there to help him. He got his phone and tried to distract himself by watching some cute dog videos but his attention span seems to have become shorter than before—after a few minutes of watching, his mind was already back to thinking about the results again and it just gave him a headache. He realizes that the videos aren’t working so he tiringly puts his phone off to the side and decides to take a short nap. Just a short one.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Chan!” 

Sinb loudly knocks at Chan’s locked apartment door. She needed to use the bathroom since Yewon was using their bathroom in their apartment. Meanwhile, Chan just finished taking a bath and he was just about to get out of the bathroom door when he hears Sinb shouting outside of his apartment. “Open the door!!!” With only a towel wrapped around his waist, he quickly ran to the door, opened it and suddenly got shoved off by Sinb who ran like crazy to the bathroom.

“Why do you always have to come in here!? Don’t you have a bathroom on your apartment?” Chan walks near the closed bathroom door, irritatingly asking Sinb. “Yewon’s taking a bath.” Sinb groans as she sat down the toilet to pee. “Can’t you like just get in and pee for sec and get out? It’s not like you’re gonna take a bath with her.” “I would, but her silent ass would suddenly become chaotic and she’d start throwing the soap at me when I enter.” Sinb lifts her pants up, washes her hands in the sink and proceeds to go outside of the bathroom only to see Chan topless, buttoning his pants in front of her.

“What?” Chan notices Sinb and realizes that the other was staring at his body. “Enjoying the view there?” Chan smirks, feeling smug. “What?” Sinb confusingly asks and then realizes that she was indeed staring at Chan’s body and immediately pops out of her weirdly thought fantasy. Chan laughs at Sinb’s sudden embarrassment but the girl was fast to cover it with a tough-looking face. “Stop being so proud of yourself I wasn’t even looking at you fancy-pants.” Sinb tries to reason her way out of her embarrassment, bobbing her head off to the side, pretending like she wasn’t staring at Chan. Chan laughs at the girl’s point and attempts to get a bit closer to Sinb.

“Really?” Sinb’s chest was pumping so hard, with Chan closer to him, and her face was blushing so she tries to avoid Chan’s eyes from noticing it. Panic in her head, she resorts to throwing one of Chan’s dirty clothes at him. “Fuck off and wear your smelly clothes already, we have classes in two hours.” Sinb runs off outside Chan’s apartment, closes the door and breathes out quietly so Chan doesn’t hear.

“What are you doing?”

“What the fu—“ Sinb jumps out of surprise, almost swearing at the person in front of her, who was just Yewon. Yewon immediately asks if she’s ok, thinking that she must’ve shocked her friend and Sinb reasons out that she needs to pee and instantly runs away back to their apartment. Yewon definitely felt something strange with Sinb’s acting—the girl just went inside Chan’s apartment to pee, then she suddenly tells her that she needs to pee again. Did her bladder suddenly shrunk to the size of a squirrel’s or what? But anyways, she just pushes it out of her mind and instead knocks at Chan’s door, telling him to get ready to leave for school.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Seokmin woke up with a smile on his face, feeling energized. The nap seemed to have helped with his headache. He rose up his bed and he felt like he was ready to go to school, he got his phone and realized he was an hour late for his class. The supposedly nap that he decided to take turned into a good deep sleep. He looked over his notifications and saw a message from Yewon.

**_Are you ok? You’re not in class today._ **

Seokmin’s face straight away turned pissed and he threw off his phone to the bed and thought that maybe he should’ve just slept all through the night— his mind went straight back into those stupid thoughts and he definitely didn’t want to go to school anymore. He’d rather go absent in class today than be late which is very unlikely of him, that interview probably hit him really hard in his core. He went back lying to his bed and thought of something else to do, sleeping isn’t an option—he already slept for hours and staying in bed for another couple of hours didn’t sound so pleasing to him right now. There’s a tv and a gaming console, he can watch or play, but the most appealing thing that he can think of right now, is to leave his apartment and maybe get something to eat, or maybe at least good walk in the park would do. He picked up his jacket and wore it over his oversized school shirt with his excessively short shorts.

He finally got out of his apartment and went strolling straight down the road, not knowing where he’s going. The sun was up shining in the afternoon, but he can still feel the cold breeze blowing through his skin. He sees a coffee shop across the street and his feet were immediately leading him to it. He enters the shop and a tall lady comes in his sight. Seokmin was looking through the tables when he realizes that he was the only person in the shop. He walked to the counter where the barista was calmly standing and the lady greeted him a big smile. “Can I take your order?” Seokmin looks at the menu and scans it for a minute and decides to go for a simple one before returning his look to the barista. “An iced Americano, please.”

After ordering his coffee, he went to one of the vacant tables beside the windows where you could see the streets and waited for a couple of minutes. The Americano didn’t take long, after a having a moment with his phone, the barista came by herself to his table and dropped by his coffee. “Thanks.” Seokmin gives a close-mouthed smile back to the lady before getting the cold drink with his hands.

“Skipping classes or is it in the afternoon?” the barista suddenly asks out of curiosity, whose head was tilted sideward while wiping her hands with a dry cloth. Seokmin looks up to the lady, surprised. “How’d you know?” “Your shirt.” the barista points out and chuckles. ‘ _Oh’._ Seokmin realizes that he was wearing his school shirt and then he scratches his head, feeling embarrassed at himself. “I’m Sojung, by the way” the barista offers her hand for a hand shake and Seokmin looks at the barista’s name tag as he hears her name and immediately takes her hand and shakes it lightly “I’m Seokmin.” The latter felt awkward after their hand shake, he didn’t know what to say and the barista was just staring at him. “I’ll be back on the counter, tell me if you need anything or if you want to talk or something” the barista made his last smile before going back to the counter. Seokmin just nodded at the statement and went on with drinking his coffee, but hearing the idea of having someone to talk to sounded nice too him.

“Actually—“ he looked up to the barista but he was hesitating, feeling timid at that time. The barista looked back at him but he wasn’t speaking at all, luckily, she seemed to have understood the situation and approached Seokmin first “Do you wanna talk?” Seokmin nodded shyly, slowly moving his eyes to look at the barista and the lady grinned at what seemed to be a child-looking man in front of him.

“Okay, what do you wanna talk about? Don’t worry I’m good at listening.” Sojung sat down with an excited expression. Seokmin took a moment to praise himself for finally doing something that doesn’t include humiliating himself in front of people. Seokmin tidied himself up, straightened his body before opening his mouth “Uhm, w-where should I start?” Sojung laughed at him, how was she supposed to tell Seokmin where to start when she doesn’t know a thing about him. “I don’t know what about an introduction first?” Sojung prompts. “Oh, yeah, right, uhm, I’m Seokmin, a-and I’m a college student right now and I just failed to get an internship in a hospital. Uhm, what about you?” Sojung sits properly before speaking “Hi, I’m Sojung, I’m also a college student, I work here in the coffee shop part-time for some money.” Seokmin pondered, why would a college student work so early in the morning, so with no doubt, he asked the barista. “The customers that come here in the morning are lesser than the afternoon or night, I serve less customers but still get same salary with the other baristas who work here since the salary depends on the hours of working in the shop. It’s a bit of a nuisance to wake up in the morning at first, but you’ll get used to it.” Seokmin nodded and mouthed a wow, hearing Sojung’s explanation, he thought that this girl he’s talking to is really smart.

“Enough of me!! We were supposed to talk about you, there must be some reason why you failed that internship.” Seokmin frowns at what Sojung said but it’s probably already the time to talk about it. “Yeah, my interview was kinda unfortunate I guess.” “Why do you think that happened?” Seokmin pauses for a second and thinks about the question while keeping the gloomy expression on his face. “I focused a lot on preparing for the interview, there were a lot of times were I stayed up late at night worrying about it. But I guess my anxiousness just took over my whole body and all that time I prepared went into waste.” Sojung nods along with Seokmin’s words and tries to understand the man in front of her. “Was it your first time?” Seokmin nods quickly and Sojung suddenly smiles which made Seokmin lose some of his composure, feeling embarrassed. Sojung was quick to notice it and made sure to tell him that she wasn’t laughing at him for that reason “—you reminded me of myself when it was also my first time taking those interviews. Don’t worry it’s definitely normal to be nervous when it’s your first time doing something you have no experience of.” Seokmin scratches his head, he understands that, but how can you explain those first-timers that pass. “What about my friends then? We took the same internship in the same hospital, and all of us had no experience in the interview thing, but they still passed. I really feel left out.” “Hey, don’t compare yourself to them, okay? Maybe fate has something else for you.” Seokmin was sulking in his seat but luckily Sojung was there to cheer him up. “Thanks. You’d be a good therapist by the way.” Seokmin glances at her, eyes crinkled. Sojung laughs at the comment “I’m a psychology major, that’s why.” “Oh! I didn’t know.” The two laughed together and at that time Seokmin’s worries seemed to have gone away. Now it was Sojung who praised herself for finally applying something she learned in college.

The two had talked for a few hours, disrupted by the ring of the doorbell made by a few customers coming by to buy their coffee, so Sojung has to go to the counter and take their order while Seokmin waits for her to finish. The rest of the time was all talking and getting to know each other and by this time, they probably already know at least 5% about each other’s life.

Unfortunately, the time has come and Sojung had finished her shift. “Hey, my shift ends in a few minutes and I have to leave since my classes start in the afternoon.” Seokmin’s expression suddenly got sad by the news but what can he do “Oh, okay, it was nice meeting you, hope to see you here again sometime.” “Don’t worry I work here every day except for weekends, you can go meet me anytime in the morning.” Sojung smiles and leaves, but she turns back with the idea suddenly popping in her head “You wanna get my number? So we can call or text each other if you want, it’s totally fine though if you don’t.” Seokmin nods, approving of the idea and gets his phone out and gives it to Sojung while Sojung gives her phone to Seokmin.

While the two were exchanging numbers, the door of the coffee shop abruptly opens and the doorbell rings making the two look over it “Jeonghan, hey!” The man walks forward to the table, Sojung smiling and Seokmin with a confused look “Seokmin! This is my boyfriend, Jeonghan.” Seokmin stands up to greet the man before him. “Jeonghan, this is my friend, Seokmin.” The two guys shake hands and Seokmin straight away feels intimidated by the man and the atmosphere suddenly becomes awkward. Fortunately, Sojung was there to break it away “He comes here every morning to fetch me, we always go to college together.” Seokmin just nods and smiles at Sojung and the Jeonghan guy but he gets a blank response from him. “We’ll go now, text me or call me if you need somebody to talk to.” Sojung prompts and walks away. But before they finally left, Sojung approached Seokmin first and whispered something to his ear “Don’t be scared at him, he’s been a bit grumpy in the morning these days.”

Seokmin felt satisfied. He was also happy that he made friendship with someone on a random day, on an ordinary coffee shop in the city. Now, he’s left in the table all alone and as the sun continues to rise, people start to come in the shop. A new barista came in to replace Sojung and he realized that he hasn’t eaten any breakfast yet so he decided to get a piece of bagel. He finished it in four bites and after that he thought of somewhere else to go— he still didn’t want to go home, he went outside the coffee shop and scanned the streets and the places around him. He looked at the time on his phone, it was 1 PM, in just a matter of few hours he would be going home from school if he went to his classes, but he didn’t. He doesn’t really regret it, he was able to get a day off from his stressful college classes and he met a new friend, somebody who’s older than him, somebody he can talk his problems to. He went back looking to the streets, he can’t really think of any place to go right now. Maybe going back home is the best choice right now. Seokmin thought of taking a nice bath and eating some good food after while watching some movies and that idea made him change his mind about not wanting to go home. But before walking his way home he decided to pass by a convenience store to buy some food.

Several minutes later, he reached his pocket to get the keys of his apartment. He quickly dropped the plastic bag full of chips and drinks to the kitchen and went straight to the bathroom, taking off his clothes and turning on the shower. Later that day, he got on his couch, dressed in comfortable clothes with his food and the remote on his other hand. He chose a favorite movie of his own and played it.

Two hours have passed and Seokmin was still in the same position. He was enjoying watching the movie while munching on his food when somebody knocked outside the door. He suddenly got up to see who was behind the knocking and opened the door. “Why didn’t you go to school? Where were you? We kept on ringing your phone but you weren’t answering.” It was Sinb with Chan and Yewon behind her. Sinb and Chan entered without Seokmin’s permission, seeing the tv on with the food on the table and couch “You were having a whole cinema here all by yourself and you didn’t even bother to invite us over?!”

“Uh, weren’t you guys in classes?”

“Well, yes we were but you could’ve still texted us at least.” Sinb exclaimed, getting some chips on the table and putting it onto her mouth. “And why didn’t you attend classes today anyways?” Chan butts in the conversation, a bit worried for Seokmin.

“Hey, are you ok?” Yewon adds to the conversation, placing her hands on Seokmin’s shoulders. “Yeah, yeah I’m all ok I was just in a bad mood a while ago because of you know…” Seokmin makes a gesture. “— that’s why I didn’t go to classes today and, I also turned off my phone.” Seokmin brushes Yewon’s hand off his shoulder and goes back to sitting his couch and plays the tv. “You guys wanna watch?” Seokmin turns to look up his friends and the three of them sat down the couch beside him like nothing happened.

“Did you guys do anything important at class?” Seokmin asks and Chan responds “Nothing really, our professor just reminded us about the internship and the rest were just some boring lectures. You’re lucky we didn’t have any tests today.” Seokmin sighs in relief after hearing what Chan said. “Speaking about internship, did you already find another hospital to apply for it?” Yewon jumps in and Seokmin disagrees, still no internship “I’m still finding one as of now.” It’s a bit ironic how, Seokmin said that he’s finding one right now, but he’s actually just sitting on his couch with his friends watching movies. He should be working on it right now but he probably just didn’t want to do anything related to the internship that day—just a fun time that day with his friends.

They decided to watch another movie just after the previous one finished and Seokmin went to the kitchen to see if there were more snacks in his refrigerator. He opened his fridge and scanned from top to bottom and the only thing in there was a half-filled bottle of coke and a box of kimchi. He really needed to go to shopping for some food soon or he’ll have nothing to eat, he can’t just keep on eating instant food from the convenience store. He got the bottle of coke and closed his fridge.

“Hyung” Seokmin was suddenly surprised by Chan whispering behind him, he almost dropped the bottle. “What the heck, why are you here?!” Chan shushed Seokmin, signaling him to be quiet “Can we talk?” Seokmin nodded confusingly and Chan lead him to his bedroom and closed the door. “What do you want to talk about so suddenly?” The two sat on the bed, Seokmin a bit stiff since he’s still confused. “I just can’t get it off my head….”

“I think I like Sinb.” 

“WHAT—“

“Shhh!!! Quiet!” Chan covered Seokmin’s mouth before he even spoke. “Do you care to explain?!” Seokmin muttered, eyes wide, still shocked. “I’ve always had a thing for her but I just thought that it’s just some weird long-term infatuation.”

“What the heck is a long-term infatuation?!?!”

“I know it’s stupid but I just realized that it might not just be some puppy love, what I feel for her right now.” “Since when did you realize that thing?” Seokmin asked, trying to make sense of what Chan was saying. “In the amusement park… the two of us were alone in the Ferris wheel a-and… I don’t know how to explain anymore but you understand right?”

“Why are you only telling me this now?”

“I had to clear some things in my mind first, I was supposed to tell you a while ago at class but you weren’t there.” Seokmin slowly nods after hearing the explanation “So, what are you going to do now then?” “I don’t know, I figured you’d help me out and tell me the right thing to do.” Chan shrugs his shoulders. “Why don’t you just tell her then?” “Hyung, it’s not that easy, she’s my friend.” Seokmin nods at the realization. Sinb and Chan are friends, and it might ruin their relationship when Chan confesses his feelings for the other. “I don’t really know too.” Seokmin scratches his head, feeling a bit disappointed at himself for not knowing.

“I kinda tried flirting with her and I don’t think she likes it.” Seokmin looks at Chan suddenly telling a story “What?!” “We kinda had an accident a while ago in the morning at the apartment and, I don’t know…” Chan shakes his head off as he feels kinda annoyed for saying ‘I don’t know’ for the nth time already. “How about we talk about that tomorrow and let’s just go back in the couch to watch with them?” Seokmin suggests as it was getting a bit inconvenient for the other to talk to only end up getting “I don’t know” as an answer. Chan sighs and just nods as he also feels the same with Seokmin. They went back to the living room and they were lucky, the two girls were so focused on the movie that they didn’t even notice the two guys were gone for some time. The two guys sat back down to the couch comfortably as if they didn’t talk about anything a couple of minutes back.

Hours after and they were just cleaning all the mess they made on the living room— Seokmin was washing the bowls and glasses they used, Yewon with a broom on one hand and a dustpan on the other, sweeping the floor. Chan with a garbage bag, picking up the rest of the trash and food crumbs on the table while Sinb was just resting her butt on the couch. “You know, it would be really nice if you could help us clean here.” Chan blurted out, throwing a crumpled piece of plastic wrapper to Sinb to get the other’s attention. Sinb gazed at Chan and ignored what he said and just threw the piece of trash back to him, smiling “Yeah… no thanks.” “How do you even get your apartment clean when you’re this lazy?” Chan picks up the trash and puts in on the garbage bag he’s holding. “You don’t need to clean when you have a Yewon in the house.” “Yeah, right” Chan says in an unconvinced manner. “It’s true, I keep on bugging her to help me clean but she doesn’t do it anyways, so I just gave up.” Yewon confirmed and went back to sweeping the floor. Sinb makes a smug face and nods in victory, while Chan sighs in defeat, and continues with picking up trash “What a brat.” Sinb laughs at Chan’s comment and teases the latter. “Aww, don’t cry.” “Just shut up, I’m not.” Chan packs up the garbage bag and walks out to go to the kitchen, throwing the bag in the bin. Chan meets eyes with Seokmin in the sink washing while he was angrily squeezing in the bag inside the bin and he tells his hyung “Ok, maybe I don’t like her that much anymore.” Seokmin just laughs at Chan as the younger stomps his way back into the living room.

After an hour-long of cleaning, Seokmin walked along with his friends down the building and bid his goodbye at the road outside the building. He returned back to his apartment, sat on the couch, and turned on the tv, he probably didn’t get enough of watching with his friends when all he can think about a while ago was what Chan told him. He kept on thinking of the best and worst scenarios that could happen between the two which is something that he shouldn’t probably even think about. He was watching some cartoons just waiting for his body to feel sleepy before he could go to his bed when his phone suddenly rang from his pocket. He reached it out of his pocket and soberness instantly got into him seeing who was calling on his phone. “Good evening, dad.”

“What happened to your internship?” Seokmin was suddenly reminded of his problem. He sat up straight, hearing his father’s voice, feeling awakened. “Uhm…” he was speechless at the moment, he felt anxiety in his legs—he remembered when he was a child and his dad would always punish him when he fails a test. He’d cry all the time alone in his bed and his brother would be there to come and comfort him and sing him to sleep.

“LEE SEOKMIN, ANSWER MY QUESTION!” his father was already shouting on the other side of the phone, but Seokmin just felt scared, he wanted to speak but his fear just made him mute. “Dad—“

“You didn’t pass didn’t you?”

“I-I’ll find another hospital to apply for the internship again. Don’t worry.” Seokmin mumbled and he hears his dad sighing loud out of disappointment. “I’m s-sorry—“

“Idiot, you better find one, or I’ll cut off your money from the bank.”

“Yes, dad—“

His dad drops the call before he could even say something. He hurled his phone to the other side of the couch and slowly bawled his eyes out. He felt so useless. All of those bad memories when he was a kid suddenly bombarded his mind and it was getting a bit harder for him to breathe.

He reached his phone on the couch and dialed a number on his keypad.

“Hello, Seokmin? What happened?”

“Hyung, come here please, I miss you ** _._** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're happy reading this!! I wasnt really satisfied with this chapter i dunno :/
> 
> I also wanna say that this au wouldnt only focus between the main ship, I'd also be putting some parts for the characters since i think it might be boring if it would just focus on the main characters. So until Seokmin meets Yuna:DD I guess I'd insert some short side character parts in some parts of the story. But I'll make sure that this au would focus more on the main characters. I'd also be adding more characters as the chapters progress as you can see here.
> 
> Kudos, comments are really appreciated thank you!!


	3. And Here We Meet

“Jihoonie hyung?” 

Seokmin suddenly woke up with his bedroom curtains opened, sunshine on his face and his older brother sitting in the chair right in front of him with a close-mouthed smile on his face.

“Hey, pizza boy.”

“Hyung!” Seokmin bounced up his bed and gave his brother a long tight hug. It’s been a long time since these two had a proper meeting. Last time, this wasn’t really a problem for Seokmin—calling his brother to visit him. Back a year ago, Seokmin used to live with his brother before he finally made a decision to move out of his brother’s flat because he feels like he’s taking away the time Jihoon has that’s supposed to be spent with his boyfriend, Soonyoung. He doesn’t even spend much time talking to his brother in their flat, but Seokmin also thought that it would be best if he gave them the privacy they needed as a couple. He can’t stand lying down in bed every time, trying to sleep and then just suddenly hearing the sound of the bed on the other side of the room creaking.

“How’s everything going? Are you fine? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come by last night, something came up and I just needed to get it done quickly.” Jihoon blurted out quickly in a concerned tone after pulling himself out of Seokmin’s arms. “It’s okay hyung, I’m fine now, I just wanted to see you again.”

“Why were you crying last night then, I heard you sobbing over the phone.” Jihoon wondered what seemed to be the reason why Seokmin needed him again. He stepped closer to give his brother a look but the other just stayed silent and bobbed his head down. Jihoon seemed to have noticed the change in the younger’s face so he offered for them to sit down the bed first before he asked his question. “Is it dad again?” Jihoon waited patiently for the other to answer just like how he always does when his younger brother comes to him, crying because of their dad when they were kids. Although this time, Seokmin didn’t really take long to answer unlike before but his answer was just a slow nod—simply gesturing a ‘yes’ as an answer.

Jihoon didn’t even bother to ask the reason why their dad made him cry again, thinking that Seokmin probably wouldn’t like that and he’d end up just feeling worse than he is when he does ask him. Instead of doing that, he let his brother lie down his lap, stroking his brother’s hair. And after feeling like the younger was already comfortable in his position, Jihoon sang him a song, just like when they were kids.

After singing one song, Jihoon felt a bit suffocated at the small room Seokmin has—the room was nothing compared to the big room he had back in his flat. He moved his head down to look at Seokmin who seemed to have relaxed from hearing his voice. “Hey, you wanna go out?” Seokmin looked at him in the eye and gave him a smile as he nodded. The younger sat up straight from lying down his brother’s lap and stood up to get his bath towel. “Can I take a shower first? I don’t want to smell bad.” Seokmin asked permission, giving his hyung those puppy eyes. Jihoon just nodded and grinned at his brother. “You should, you already smell bad.” Seokmin’s eyes widened, hearing what his brother said and he did try to smell his self and Jihoon was right—he did smell bad. “I’ll be quick, I promise.” Seokmin quickly ran to the bathroom after talking and closed the door. 

After what felt like an hour to the older, Seokmin finally got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Your body’s gotten bigger.” That’s the first thing Jihoon noticed, Seokmin on the other hand just giggled, feeling a little embarrassed. “Do you work out already too?” Jihoon asked in amazement, last time he recalled, Seokmin didn’t have big arms and a buff chest. “Yeah, I used to, before school started I used to work out with Chan, I just stopped doing it since I just get more tired after a stressful day in college, but I think Chan still does it every now and then.”

“Speaking of Chan, how’s he?” Jihoon remembered Seokmin’s childhood friend, it’s also been a while since they met. “Uhm… he’s doing fine, I guess?” Seokmin continued on talking while he was wearing his underwear and pants. “I don’t really have anything to say aside from we’re in the same class.” Jihoon expected him to say something else about Chan since he kinda missed seeing the guy dancing back in his flat but he can’t really blame Seokmin for not saying anything else. If he did, it would probably be just about their stressful classes. He suddenly felt lucky that he’s already graduated college since he doesn’t have to go through those stressful classes anymore. Anyways, Jihoon also thought that it’d be nice for the four of them to work out together at the gym—him, Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Chan. Jihoon gladly offered Seokmin to tell Chan about it but Seokmin turned down the offer. “No!! Just do it with Soonyoung hyung. You’re just gonna make us do an intense work out for 3 hours straight and then you’d still expect us to walk properly.”

“It’s not even that bad, if you think about it.” Jihoon retorted, trying to persuade the younger to take his offer. “Well, obviously for you it’s not that bad, you’re like a workout addict or something.” Seokmin defenses back while picking what shirt in his closet he should wear. “Your Soonyoung hyung can do it.” Jihoon tries to belittle his brother—low-key telling him that he couldn’t do it. “Well that’s because you’d always tell him that you'd give a "treat" at night so he’d finish doing those hundred push-ups you forced him to do and then at night you’d either just yell at him cause you're too sleepy or you'd give him a piece of candy and tell him that it was the "treat" you promised."

“How the hell do you even know about that?!” Jihoon gasps out of shock, raising his eyebrows. “Oh you don’t know how many times Soonyoung hyung would come to me and tell me about those weird stories that I didn’t even want to hear. I even told him how I hated hearing any of those but then he’d always come to me whining, telling me you didn’t give him the "treat" you promised him.” Seokmin snapped.

“Okay, okay, enough I don’t wanna hear it anymore.” Jihoon stands up and just pulls the knob of the door to get out of the bedroom. Seokmin picks up his wallet and phone while laughing at his brother and then after, following him outside the bedroom.

“You ready?” Jihoon asked the younger before leaving, still a bit irked after what they had just talked about, but Seokmin just laughed at his face again and gave him a quick nod. Jihoon sighed, feeling some tension inside of his body with the thought of his brother probably knowing a lot of more of his dirty little secrets. Seokmin probably does know more but he just refuses to speak it out loud, which is good, Jihoon doesn’t know what he’s going to do anymore when Seokmin starts blurting out to everybody every dirty little thing he has done. Well, if anybody is to blame here, Jihoon thinks that it’s his boyfriend, Soonyoung—Seokmin wouldn’t know such secrets if it weren’t for his noisy mouth.

The two went out of the younger’s flat and rode the elevator to go down the ground floor. Just when they were on the exit, Jihoon remembered something that he should’ve thought of first before asking his brother to go out today. “Hey, I forgot, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your classes right now?”

Suddenly, Seokmin dropped the smile on his face, feeling bummed out—he doesn’t really have any plans on going to school today. He doesn’t know when he’s going back again, all he knows is that he’s still disappointed at himself for not getting that stupid internship. “No, I don’t have classes today.” He lied.

“Really?” Jihoon responds, not believing what the other said. “Did they change the schedules now or something?”

“No, there’s just some event today that’s why we don’t have any classes today.” _Lies, lies, lies._ He doesn’t really have any choice, obviously if he tells the truth, Jihoon would make him go to school today instead of going out with him. Jihoon on the other hand, seemed to believe what he said, just nodding an ‘okay’ and continued on walking. Seokmin thought that he should start thinking of ways how to tell his brother that he didn’t pass the internship he took. He’s going to tell him, just not now or any near later.

Seokmin followed the older down the street, walking together for a few minutes until they passed by the coffee shop. “You ok for some morning coffee?” Jihoon turned his head to the side, waiting for the other to answer. “Yeah, coffee sounds good.” With that said the two crossed the street and went inside the coffee shop. Seokmin saw not that many customers sitting on the tables and Sojung on the counter, who he just talked to and became friends with yesterday and who also seems to be surprised to see him there. They sat down the table and Jihoon gave him the menu to read.

“You haven’t had breakfast yet, pick something to eat aside from the coffee, I’ll pay for it.” Seokmin scanned the menu and decided to choose the buckwheat pancake for his breakfast.

“What about your coffee?” Jihoon asks once again and the other looks back to the menu.

“I guess I’ll just go for the brewed coffee.” The older nodded and stood up right after the younger finished picking in the menu and went straight to the counter to order. Seokmin saw Sojung looking at him just right before Jihoon walked up to the counter so he gave him a wave, but the other just responded with a small smile.

A few of minutes past, the two were on their table, patiently waiting for what they have ordered. “How’s college? ...Let me guess, stressing?” Jihoon didn’t like the quiet atmosphere going on between them so he opened up something to talk about, even though he hates talking about college.

“Yeah, I guess?” Seokmin answered shortly, not knowing what to say next.

“Seokmin-a, if there’s something or anything you’re having a hard time with, don’t hesitate to ask help from me, ok?” Jihoon didn’t know what that was for—Seokmin was always open to his problems when it comes to him, but he just felt like he needed to remind him again. Ever since the younger left their flat, Jihoon barely received anything from him except for those occasionally sent ‘How are you, I’m fine’ messages. He thought that Seokmin must’ve been going through some problems all by his self, which was probably hard for him. Or maybe Seokmin’s probably already learned how to handle those things and he’s actually already a mature man who can take care of himself, not a baby anymore, which is probably something that is yet to hit Jihoon.

“I’m fine hyung, there’s nothing to worry about.” _As of now._ Seokmin responded, voice a little tense, but Jihoon was too deaf to notice that.

“Here’s your order, sir.” Sojung abruptly came in with the food they ordered on her tray. She placed the two cups of coffee and the plate of pancake neatly down the table and gave Seokmin a look as she did. “Hi!” Seokmin greeted her again and Sojung said “Hi” too. Jihoon right after gave his brother an eye, curious on who the girl is.

“Hyung, this is my friend, Sojung noona! Noona, this is my hyung, Jihoon.” Seokmin introduced her to Jihoon and Sojung felt a bit embarrassed but she just brushed it off and smiled at Jihoon and the other did the same as well.

“Skipping classes again?” Sojung mumbled as she held the tray back in her hand and Seokmin was suddenly alarmed to hear the question—he forgot that Sojung actually knows about him skipping classes and because of his stupidity, he got caught again, it’s not really that bad if it was just Sojung—she probably would’ve understand, except it wasn’t just her, his brother whom he lied to was also there.

“What?!” Apparently, Jihoon wasn’t too deaf to not hear it this time. “You told me you don’t have classes today?!” Seokmin didn’t know what to say, he felt guilt tugging his chest. He wasn’t expecting his brother to find it out this way.

“Seokmin, why did you lie to me?” Jihoon asked calmly, but he’s obviously trying to control himself from bursting out. The older was expecting an answer but the other probably won’t even give one for the next few hours if he doesn’t do anything. Meanwhile Sojung was frozen in her position, Seokmin obviously made a mistake and Sojung wanted to help him but how can she do that when he still hasn’t even answered his brother’s question.

Sojung then realized her mistake and immediately apologized. “Sorry, I thought your brother knew about it.” But Seokmin didn’t respond, frankly, it wasn’t even Sojung’s fault that he got caught up in this situation. If only he could’ve told his brother the truth. Sojung was still in front of their table standing, still not knowing how to solve the sudden tension in the atmosphere which isn’t even her problem to solve in the first place.

It’s not even that big of a deal to be honest, everybody has their bad days and sometimes they’d just feel like not going to school but Seokmin’s reason for not attending is quite big of a deal for him to simply just tell it to others. Specifically his family, they expect a lot from him so it’s quite hard for him to open up to them, luckily he has his friends to share some thoughts to. Among his family, Jihoon’s the one he opens up to the most since he’s his brother, but sometimes it also gets a bit difficult for Seokmin to speak up to him because of how his temper would get the better of him at times, just like what’s happening right now.

“Can you give us two a moment please?” Jihoon pleaded, he felt like it’d be harder for him to talk to his brother with somebody he just met that day listening to him. Sojung quickly followed, whispering another “sorry” to Seokmin before leaving the two of them. Leaving them was probably the best she could’ve done to help Seokmin, so he and his brother could have a talk.

“Why’d you lie to me?” Jihoon asked once again, hoping that his brother would finally answer. “Seokmin-a, what is it? Don’t worry I won’t be mad.” Seokmin was avoiding his eyes just like always, when he makes a mistake.

_Patience._ Jihoon, always knew that he never really had it in him, but he thought himself that just for the sake of his brother. He reached for the other’s hand and held it, simply trying to prove that he isn’t mad at him, even though he is, a bit. And finally, Seokmin looked at him, and Jihoon can notice the worry in his eyes.

“I-, uhm…. I fa-failed my internship.”

_‘Oh.’_

“Are you mad?” Seokmin frighteningly looked at his brother.

“No I’m not mad, why would I be?” Jihoon sighed, he meant what he said this time. He’s not mad, maybe he was a while ago, but seeing how Seokmin got so scared just takes all the anger away from him—replacing it with some concern. He wondered how on earth did the younger suddenly become so scared of him, that he, Seokmin would actually think that his brother would get mad at him for failing to apply for an internship.

“It’s an internship, hyung.” Seokmin retorts in a low tone, making him sound cute to Jihoon. Maybe he is still a baby, Jihoon taught. “So? Seokmin-a everybody fails their internship. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Jihoon said, trying to cheer up the other, but Seokmin looked like he didn’t get what his brother said.

“But you’d always get mad at me when we were kids every time I fail an exam.” Seokmin scratches his head, clearly confused why his brother’s not mad at him.

“I wasn’t mad at you, you dummy.” Jihoon laughed a bit. “I was just jealous of you, because of how you gave so much hard-work and effort in everything you did that every time you fail at something you always get worried and end up crying. I kinda wished I had that thing too, because to be honest, I never really gave a shit about my studies.” Jihoon smiled and laughed as he remembered those days when they were kids and Seokmin would come home crying because he failed that stupid test their teacher gave them without even letting them study. Jihoon never understood how his brother would cry over such a thing he wouldn’t even give a shit about. That’s what made him envy his brother—he also wanted to be a hard-working person who actually gives in some time for studying. But that didn’t even happen, he’s still lazy when it comes to studying up to now, and sometimes, he even wonders how he got pass from college with that kind of lazy in him—maybe Seokmin and him were just on a whole new level of different when it comes to studying.

“So you’re really not mad?” Seokmin asked with his big puppy eyes.

“No! I told you already, I’m not!” Jihoon exclaimed.

“So you’re also not mad at me for not going to school today?” Seokmin asked another question, which made Jihoon curious. “Why’d you even do that?”

“I just felt bad, three of my friends passed and… I just felt left out.” Seokmin sighed as he felt it again and it just made him sadder. “I just didn’t want to get reminded of it that’s why I avoided going to my classes.” 

The older took a pause and took the time to think of what he’s going to say. He thought about what his brother said and it made him sad, he doesn’t know why, he doesn’t even know if he already experienced that feeling. He’s not really the type to feel left out, maybe because he never really went through any kind of situation like his brother’s. Or maybe he already did but he just didn’t really give a damn about being left out, which is unlike Seokmin because he obviously gives a damn about it. Nevertheless, Jihoon taught that there’s nothing else he can do—he can’t blame Seokmin’s friends for passing and making his brother feel left out, also blaming his brother for not making it clearly isn’t going to help at all. And Seokmin would constantly just get reminded of it if he goes to school anyways, so why not just tell his brother to go to school and just don’t let him think about it, instead of actually letting him skip his classes and miss a ton of lessons.

“Just don’t think about it, okay? You’re just going to miss a lot of classes if you keep on thinking that way.” Jihoon said, eager to cheer up his brother. “By the way, how long were you gone?” Jihoon suddenly felt panicked, thinking that his brother might actually fail because of not attending his classes.

“Just a day.” Jihoon breathed out, feeling relieved. _It’s just a day whew, he’s not gonna fail._

“Hyung, if you think I’m going to fail, I’m not, I can’t let that happen.” Seokmin noticed his brother obviously feeling nervous when he asked how long he was gone and he felt a bit offended that his brother thought that way.

“Then why aren’t you attending your classes then?!” A rebut from Jihoon, which has a point—Seokmin wouldn’t do such a thing if he wanted to keep his grades up.

“I just needed a break, okay?!” Seokmin didn’t mean to raise his voice but it seems like his frustration reached its limit. Luckily, Jihoon seemed to have understood Seokmin’s mood swing, and at this point of their talking, Jihoon didn’t really find any good use of him getting mad at his brother just for raising his voice at him.

“Sorry, I should’ve not asked that.” Jihoon said and Seokmin looked at him, still upset. “But you really need to go to school tomorrow, okay? You’re not in high school anymore, and college isn’t that easy. You’re probably missing a lot already.”

“What about my internship?” Seokmin reminded, obviously still worried.

“I’ll take care of it don’t worry, tell me the details later and I’ll find you good hospital for your internship, just focus on your classes first.” Jihoon smiled, and so did Seokmin. Count Sojung in too, she watched the two boys at the counter blabber and blabber and it kinda made her jealous, wishing that she also had a sibling to talk to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hey.”

“Oh hey, you’re finally here.” Yewon looked up to Seokmin who had a close-mouthed smile in his face.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Seokmin was walking up to the entrance of the school building when he passed by Yewon, sitting in a bench. It was the next day, and Seokmin finally got the courage to get up his bed and go to school, and the internship? Well, he’s still a bit upset about it but his brother would’ve killed him already if he missed another day of college.

“Where are Sinb and Chan?” Seokmin didn’t see the two sitting by with Yewon when he came.

“Oh, they went inside already, I just kinda wanted to stay here outside for a couple of minutes when you came.” Yewon stood up hurriedly and put her bag on her shoulders, looking at the guy with slight pieces of glee in her face.

“Are you gonna go inside already?” Seokmin asked when he saw Yewon getting her bag. “Didn’t you just sit down?”

“Well, you’re already here, I was actually also waiting for you—uhm…my guts kinda told me you were coming.” The two laughed a bit and Yewon started walking ahead. “Come on! We’re going to be late.”

The lad followed, jogging his way to Yewon’s side. “Did I miss a lot?” Seokmin asked while walking and Yewon quickly responded. “I wouldn’t say a lot, but I’d say you missed a decent amount of lectures.”

“Do you have a copy of those?” Seokmin’s mood immediately changed after hearing the word ‘decent’. He’s already worrying about how he’s going to catch up with the others, and the regrets of missing classes are starting to hit him. They’re not yet even in class but his anxiousness is getting him again.

“Yeah, I think I have it in my bag.” Yewon answered.

“Can I borrow it?” Seokmin said in an uneasy tone. Yewon noticed and she quickly calmed him down, as she should. “Relax. I’ll give the copy to you later at class don’t worry, and the lectures aren’t that hard, I promise, you can easily catch up.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s been a few days since Seokmin got back to school and it’s pretty much going well for him, except after his classes, all he does is go back home since he still doesn’t have an internship . Meanwhile the three, Yewon, Sinb and Chan go straight directly to the hospital, feeling very excited while wearing their nursing clothes. Every end of their classes is basically just a time for Seokmin to sulk all alone at his flat and feel left out again for not being able to pass that internship with his friends.

Luckily, the next week after, his brother got back to him with the news that he was able to get him in an interview for a hospital a few hours away from his flat. It was the best he could find aside from the hospital which Seokmin already applied for. But a couple of hours was quite hard for him—he’d have to leave school earlier so he can get in without being late which means that he has to skip the free time they have after classes and he doesn’t know if he can do that for the next few months. But that’s only IF, he’s able to pass the interview this time.

Staying at his flat all alone, doing nothing, the lad decided to prepare for his interview. He picked out his words and started writing the things he needed to say for the interview, hoping that this time won’t be the same like last time. Well, now at least he’s satisfied, he finally has something to do after going home from his classes instead of being sad and sulky. He can also finally stop worrying about getting an internship, hopefully he can pass this one. And if he doesn’t? Well, he might as well just fail all of his classes this year. But of course, he wouldn’t let that happen just as what he said to his brother.

It was Monday, the time he received the news and he had two days to prepare before he would take the interview. It was a lot shorter compared to the time he had when he first prepared for an interview. Back then, it was a lot easier since he had more time and add in Sinb, Yewon, and Chan—they’d always do reviews together, ask certain questions that might pop in the interview, and cheer up each other whenever one of them is feeling down. But now, he’s all alone, he might as well get used to it, if he ever passes this one alone, he’d also be working at that hospital alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Mr. Lee Seokmin, am I correct?”

“Yes sir.”

Here he is again, in the hospital for another interview. He sat down the chair as he breathed in and out. It was his second time doing this and he was quite proud of himself when he came in the hospital not feeling any ounce of nervousness in him. But that impression of him didn’t really last long—as soon as he entered the interview room and saw the hospital worker sitting ready in his chair, well, that confident poised self of him just popped away like a bubble. Well, at least he wasn’t that nervous now compared to when he did it for the first time.

“Please introduce yourself Mr. Lee.” The interviewer started quickly as soon as the interviewee sat down. The interviewer seemed to be one of the doctors—observing from what he was wearing and from his face—the deep bags under his eyes seemed to suggest that he must’ve been working 24/7. Gathering what Seokmin saw before entering the room, the nurses where running here and there, so everybody must have been on a hurry at that time. Seokmin hoped that it really was just like that during that time, if everybody seemed to be running and working all the time then being a worker in this hospital must be tiring.

Seokmin suddenly had flashbacks of his first interview, how he was sweating and stuttering the whole time he took the interview. Although the feeling was quite different this time, it felt a little heavier for him—doing this all alone by himself. That’s when he realized that maybe his friends were really a great help for him, even though it was just a little cheer or a ‘thumbs up’ sign. He kinda hoped they’d pass by to tell him that he’s doing a good job, but that’s way too impossible, maybe at least just a text saying that he’s going to do well would be enough. But the three of them were probably too busy thinking about their internship to even start with.

The interviewer didn’t seem to be in mood the whole interview which made Seokmin lose a little hope. He did stutter at some words, but he didn’t let that stop him from continuing. He just did his best, thinking that this was most likely his last chance. He just wanted to finish this interview with little to no regrets.

“Okay, that’s all for the interview, you’ll most likely be receiving a call back from us tomorrow if you passed.” The doctor closed his notes, removed his eyeglasses and yawned momentarily. That day seemed to be really exhausting for him.

“Thank you, sir. I’ll be leaving now.” The lad stood up his seat and bowed down. As expected, Seokmin didn’t get any answer, the doctor in front just nodded at him and waited for him to leave.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, Seokmin was done. He breathed out slowly as he went out of the room, finally feeling relaxed. Hopefully, those two days he used for preparing would get paid off. Now he just needs to wait, just a little later and he’ll get a call back.

As he was walking his way outside, he picked his phone out of his pocket, and went to their group chat. He felt happy that he finally finished his interview and thought of telling it to his friends. Being worried didn’t feel like a choice for him anymore, he realized that it’d just make him anxious and it’s just no good at all.

**_GUYSS!! I FINALLY FINISHED MY INTERVIEW!!_ **

****

Seokmin waited for the others to reply, but after a couple of minutes, he noticed that nobody was online. The lad thought that his friends must have been really busy to check, so he just decided to continue on walking through the bus stop. Walking for two hours to get home never has been a good idea for Seokmin, so he waited for the bus to come and by the time it came, it was already sunset. He realized that if he ever worked in that hospital then he’d be travelling back to back for two hours and he’d reach his home most likely at night time already. Another idea Seokmin didn’t like, but this was his only chance for an internship, so he needed to bear with it. Well at least he thought maybe he could rest inside the bus while waiting for him to arrive unless he oversleeps again and misses his stop.

The next day, Seokmin found his self feeling excited the whole day for the reason that it was the day that he was supposedly going to receive the call back for the internship. It seemed like Seokmin was the only one left in their class without the internship and it just made him more desperate to get one.

“Hey, how did the interview go?” It was early in the morning and they were sitting quietly in their classroom without their professor so the three took the time to catch up with Seokmin. The two, Yewon and Sinb moved their chairs closer to the other two and patiently waited for Seokmin. “I just read your chat when I woke up this morning, congrats!”

“Thanks.” Seokmin smiled shyly, feeling embarrassed. “I don’t know what to say about the interview, the doctor who interviewed me looked tired and drained from the start till the end so I didn’t really know how he felt. Although I’ll be getting the call back today! Hopefully I would, I really need this.”

“You probably would.” Sinb said in a monotonous tone.

“We don’t know that yet Sinb.” Seokmin answered back.

“Eh, my guts are telling me you would anyways.” There goes Sinb again with her weird statements. The three just laughed at what the other said, but Sinb said that her gut feelings are most of the time true.

“To pass or not, it still sucks since I can’t work with you guys.”

“I kinda wished I didn’t pass too, I just hate the mentor in our hospital.” Chan said and the two girls started laughing, reason unknown to Seokmin.

“What? Why?” The guy looked confused looking at his friends laughing.

“Chan broke one of the tools on one of the labs accidentally and the mentor just hates him up to now.” 

“I was pressured, okay?!! He kept on giving me a scary look, I didn’t even do anything wrong before that!”

As soon as Seokmin got it, he laughed at Chan’s embarrassing moment along with the other two. And after minutes of chatting, their professor finally came in. But still, it was just the start of the day for Seokmin.

Later that afternoon, Seokmin was still excited as before. Right after the three left, going to the hospital, he went down his home quickly. He basically prepared himself at home, even though it was just going to be a short call, not even a video call. But this was really important for him. He laid back his couch with his phone beside him and waited. He doesn’t know what’s gotten in his mind for his patience to be that long but he waited for almost an hour and a half, but there was still no call. Well, it was pretty reasonable for them not to call this time, thinking that the whole hospital must’ve been busy again just like what Seokmin saw yesterday when the nurses where running everywhere. He decided to turn the tv on, maybe some cartoons can keep him entertained for a while.

After 30 minutes, it was almost rush hour which means everybody’s already going home and there was still no call. Seokmin started getting worried again. Yes, he knows that it’s stupid and does no good but he can’t help it. He picked up his phone and started refreshing his e-mail—maybe they weren’t able to call him so Seokmin thought that they probably just sent it through his e-mail. But still, NOTHING.

He just waited for a couple more minutes when his phone finally rang. _FINALLY_

“Hello?!!! This is Lee Seokmin!” The guy quickly answered his phone a bit too loudly since he was getting too nervous.

“Uhm...what’s up with the intro, it’s just me Yewon, are you okay??”

“What.”

“I just called cause my internship’s over and I wanted to ask if I can come by.”

_Oh. That’s really disappointing._ “Yeah, sure, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“Did you get the call back already?” Seokmin was staring in to space with his tv still on when Yewon came in.

“Nope, sadly, I haven’t yet or maybe I won’t get it at all.” Seokmin didn’t look at Yewon, he just answered the question upsettingly.

Yewon sat down the couch, not knowing what to say, she doesn’t know if the ‘Don’t be sad’ phrase is still going to work at this point. If she were in the other’s shoes, she’d also be upset, she’d be more than upset actually, she would probably already depressed if it were her. “Maybe they just forgot to call you or something, hospitals are a bit busy these days you know.”

“I don’t know, should I just find—“ Seokmin was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of his phone. Yewon quickly told her to answer it but the other seemed like he already lost all of his excitement.

“Hello?” The lad answered as if he just lost a thousand dollars, he didn’t even check who the caller was, and he doubts that it’s actually the hospital calling him, so he didn’t even mind saying his name, it was probably just somebody in his contacts calling him.

“Is this Mr. Lee Seokmin?”

_WAIT WHAT?!!?_ Seokmin bounced off the couch and his eyes suddenly widened after hearing that familiar voice behind his phone—it was the doctor who interviewed him yesterday. “HELLO?! YES SIR, THIS IS LEE SEOKMIN.”

“I’m sorry for the late call back but the hospital would like to inform you that you have passed the internship.” The lad can’t help but too jump in joy. He finally got the internship after countless days, weeks, of waiting. Yewon also can’t help herself to feel happy for the other, she grinned looking at her friend who kept on jumping and jumping silently screaming that he got in.

“Your internship starts tomorrow, we are hoping to see you here tomorrow.”

“THANK YOU SIR! I’LL MAKE SURE THAT I WON’T BE LATE TOMORROW.” The caller was the first to drop the call and immediately after that, Seokmin started screaming again, but this time, it wasn’t the silent one.

“I GOT IN!!!” Meanwhile Yewon, well, she just smiled the whole time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And so the next day came, Seokmin went on with his daily routine and got out of his flat for school, looking like his usual self and after a few hours, it was the dismissal of classes. He came out of the building looking a bit more striking with the wax in his hair and watch in his wrist, prepared for his first day in the hospital.

“Good luck!!!” The three made their farewell with Seokmin as soon as they got out of classes. He still has a lot of time considering that their classes end early in the afternoon, but if he wanted to be early for his first day, he needed to leave as early as he can.

The bus stop was a few meters away from the school. Luckily, right after he reached the stop, a bus came in, honking when it pulled up. He quickly entered the bus, unable to hide the smile on his face—he was two hours away from his internship. The bus left after picking up a few people and the two long hours of travel for the other passengers just felt like half an hour to Seokmin.

As the bus dropped him by, he finally saw what his mind kept on thinking about. He was finally in front of the hospital with a lot of time to spare. He walked slowly and slowly until he reached the entrance of the building. For a second, Seokmin felt like he was dreaming again, well, let’s hope it’s not anymore. He pinched his cheeks, and blinked for a few times. He exhaled once and entered.

_This is really, really it._

“Good afternoon sir. How can I help you?” As soon as Seokmin entered he saw no one except for the person behind the reception counter. He must be the only new intern there. He saw a few old people sitting in the chairs of the hallways when he walked closer to the counter and it seemed like the hospital was peaceful at that time.

“Uhm…hello, my name’s Lee Seokmin, I’m a new intern here, I just received the call back yesterday.”

“Oh, just wait here, I’ll be calling Doctor Jeo.”

“Thank you.” Seokmin stood up in front of the counter for a while, giving the place a second look since he wasn’t able to observe it as much when he first came in here.

“Mr. Lee?” The lad turned his head to the side and saw the doctor in his coat. He quickly nodded and followed the doctor.

“From Han University right?”

“Yes sir.”

The doctor looked at him for a second and suddenly called by a nurse who passed by them. “Mr. Kim!” The guy had a nice smile in his face, looking tall in his all-white clothes which also highlighted his tanned skin.

“You’re a bit late for the internship orientation that was conducted a few weeks ago, so Mr. Kim here will be teaching you the basics, protocols, and such.”

“Mr. Kim, make sure you’ll be able to give a glimpse of at least everything you learned.”

“Yes sir.”

“Hi! I’m Mingyu, I’ve been interning here for almost a year already and you are??” Right after the doctor left them in the hallway, the nurse introduced himself to Seokmin. The smile Seokmin saw reminded him of a dog.

“I’m Seokmin, this is my first day of internship.” The two shook hands and the mood became a little awkward after that with the two just staring at each other.

“Follow me, I’ll give you your scrub.” And so the intern did. They went inside one of the rooms for the hospital staffs and it was pretty stuffy and hot inside. There were so many bags and clothes packed up together and Seokmin thought that it was probably from the other interns working at the hospital too.

“If you can leave your bag at home then leave it. The bags are really taking up a lot of space, luckily, the doctors are nice enough to let us leave them here.” Mingyu quickly searched through the desks until he finally found one scrub wear and gave it to the other standing next to the door. “Here, this is the only scrub left here for the mean time, sorry. Don’t worry that’s clean and you’ll be provided your own scrub soon.”

Seokmin grabbed the all-white uniform from Mingyu’s hand and looked at it, it was a bit wrinkled probably because of the folding but he needed to wear it anyways. “Do I have to remove all my clothes?”

“No, as of now, but you need to remove it when your performing surgeries, but were not gonna do that yet, so just layer the scrub over your clothes.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“I’ll be waiting for you outside, by the way leave your bag here too.” Mingyu opened the door and went out, leaving Seokmin alone in the room.

After a few minutes, Seokmin got out of the room wearing the scrub top and pants and he saw the other waiting for him by the corner. Mingyu gestured the intern to follow him along the hallway. “Ready for the tour?”

“What?” Seokmin got confused with what he heard but the other just grinned at him.

Mingyu gave him a whole hospital tour in an hour and Seokmin just felt like he was about to explode after receiving so much information in such short time. He didn’t even have a notebook to write down some notes, he basically just hoped that his brain remembered everything Mingyu said. And the reason for Mingyu to be doing that is because Seokmin became an intern way too late so he had to adjust the time allotted for orientation and other stuff like that.

“Hope you got all of that, for the other rules and protocols, I’ll be sending you a copy so you can read it at home since it would be taking up a lot of time if I discussed it here with you. Uhm…” Mingyu paused taking a look at his phone with a list of what seems like the guidelines for the intern orientation. “Up next is… oh… you’ll start taking care of patients. “

_Wait, what._ “Uhm… right now?”

“This is practically part of the internship program—you’ll most likely be taking care of patients and socialize with them for the first part.” Mingyu walked again and Seokmin followed even though he was already tired from walking. The two went directly to the Patient Accounts Department and Seokmin saw Mingyu talking to one of the nurses for quite some time.

“This is the patient you’ll be taking care of.” The tall one handed a folder to Seokmin which had the profile of the patient he was assigned to. “I’ll bring you to the patient’s room then after that is just about it, there’s nothing really else to do. You can talk to your patient if you want.”

The two walked again and Seokmin started feeling nervous aside from being tired, out of all the things he could do in the hospital, why does it have to be talking to somebody. They rode the elevator and climbed up a few floor before reaching their destination. As they were walking, Seokmin read the profile in his hand. The patient has a _heart disease._

“Here we are.” Mingyu stood before the door of the room of the patient. “Remember the rules I told you, okay? Make sure you sanitize your hand first before skin contact, if you have to check the pulse or something. And also, you’re not allowed to feed the patient anything unless provided by the hospital, if they have meds then you ask me first okay? Hmm…what else?” He looked at the new intern as he tried to remember if he missed something. Meanwhile, Seokmin reviewed the patient’s profile again as he also thought of the rules he was told—so many things to remember for somebody’s first day at their internship.

“Good luck—“

“Wait hyung, what am I supposed to do?” Seokmin started to panic, he’s already going to be talking to a patient on his first day and he didn’t even get much training. He’s just going to talk with somebody anyways but for someone who’s shy and gets anxious at times, he needs some kind of training for this as well. Apparently, this is too fast for him, well it actually is, but there’s nothing he can do, if only he could’ve became an intern earlier.

Mingyu laughed at the younger, he definitely understands the panic in the other’s face. He was just the same when it was his first time. “Just talk to your patient, get to know her first. Your patient’s not gonna bite you, don’t worry.”

“Hyung, can’t I do something else?”

“This is what all the new interns do here Seokmin.”

Seokmin was left with no choice, he didn’t even have one from the start, and he just hoped there’d be but obviously “this is what all the new interns do here”. He sighed as he put his hand on the door knob. Mingyu gave him a pat on the shoulder and after a few seconds he opened the door. For some reason, he thought that this was gonna be one of those interviews were a smart-looking doctor meets you when you open the door, but it wasn’t clearly. Seokmin saw the patient sitting in the hospital bed and both of them looked at each other.

“H-hi, A-are you Choi Yuna?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back!!
> 
> Kudos and comments are really appreciated thank you!!

**Author's Note:**

> I bet yall skipped reading the interview part ;-; 
> 
> Anyways, this is my first time writing something this big. First of all, i still dont have any experience on internship nor college so i really had doubts at first if i should go with it, but i decided that ill give it a try so im gonna be basing the happenings on what im have experienced in high school. 
> 
> I would really appreciate comments, kudos or any tips you can give me!! English isn't my mother tongue so sorry if i make any mistakes  
> 


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